Meetings are for individuals 18 years of age and over, who have experienced the death of a child, sibling, and/or grandchild, at any age, from any cause.

Please keep in mind, you need to be a member of TCFV to attend any group. More information on membership can be found HERE.

No one is required to talk at any meeting. We understand how difficult that can be when our grief is so fresh. We do ask that you listen, however, and we don’t interrupt while another member is sharing their story.

The cost of attending a group is included in our TCFV membership. (If you need to establish a TCFV membership, please call us on 9888 4944 / 1300 064 068.) You can attend as many groups as you like.

Most groups start with an informal time for welcoming people. The formal part of the meeting then begins with the facilitator speaking and perhaps reading a piece of poetry or a short story, after which time we introduce ourselves in turn and share our thoughts and feelings. At this time, you may share as much or as little as you need.

We all grieve differently. Many people don’t feel the need of a support group until years after the death of a loved one. It’s all right to come whenever you are ready, whether it’s soon after your loved one’s death, months later or years later.

If you need a friend to attend with you for reassurance, they are welcome to attend. It is important for us to be able to share freely within our group and be sure confidences will be respected. Your friend would need to accept this confidentiality.

A support group helps reduce the sense of isolation bereaved people commonly feel. It also helps normalise thoughts and feelings that can be distressing or depressing for us. Like therapy, a support group invites us to reflect on experiences.

It is different to therapy, too. The facilitators have the lived experience of bereavement, but are not necessarily mental health professionals. A group is not an in-depth one-on-one session, although a grief-related topic can be explored in-depth collectively.

It can be helpful to be in the presence of someone else’s emotions. Finding you have similar feelings and experiences to others can be an extremely positive experience.

Be mindful that when you’re feeling especially fragile, you might not be in the place to securely experience another person’s sadness, regret, guilt, frustration, and so on. Be aware of how you’re feeling in response to others. It may not be the right rime for you to attend groups regularly. Alternately, you may realise through your response, you are having a difficult day.

Seeing others further down the track who have managed to find meaningful connections again with the world around them can provide hope. Seeing that they’ve achieve this, while still keeping their child, sibling or grandchild’s legacy vibrant in their life, is similarly inspiring. Also, hearing about how people have coped in difficult times can be helpful. (Just keep in mind that strategies that have worked for some people will not necessarily resonate or work for us.)

For new people in the group, or newer in their grief, you may find you look to longer-term bereaved members for evidence things will change. For the majority of us, it definitely does – the intensity and repetitiveness of thoughts and feelings, for instance, diminishes. We can still have bad days, though, and can seek out a group meeting in turn. For newer people, this may inadvertently leave the impression that nothing changes. Thankfully, for the clear majority, it does.

You can, but it is essential to keep in mind: no one size (in coping with grief) fits all. Despite the power of our shared experience of grief, we of course all come with our individual needs and experiences. You can ask people what has helped them and what hasn’t in coping with grief, honouring lost loved ones, and so on. Hearing other people’s outlook and approach to grief can help “fine tune” your own. But remember, no one size fits all. If you are seeking medical, psychotherapeutic or health advice, we stress that you seek the guidance of relevant professionals.

It is important to feel free to speak openly about all aspects of our grief. Sometimes, if this includes graphic descriptions surrounding how our loved one/s died, this can be too much for the group to hear, and might instead be more appropriately addressed in a one-on-one discussion with a group leader or with a psychotherapist, allied health professional, and so on.