Meetings are for individuals 18 years of age and over, who have experienced the death of a child, sibling, and/or grandchild, at any age, from any cause.

We find meetings are predominantly attended by bereaved parents. Siblings and grandparents are very welcome, too. If siblings are looking at sibling-specific support, please refer here.

Please keep in mind, you need to be a member of TCFV to attend any group. Your first year of membership is complimentary (to establish a membership, please call 9888 4944 / 1300 064 068); for more information on membership, please see below “Is there a charge to attend?”

We highly recommend you speak with the group leader prior to your first group meeting. Call TCFV on 1300 064 068 and we can help arrange a chat. Speaking with the leader is a valuable introduction to the group and what it can offer you in your grief journey.

Meetings, by design, have people sitting in close proximity to one another. If someone in your household has COVID-19, we would prefer that you not attend a meeting in that month. Please be aware that, in its place, you could have a one-on-one peer support session and/or attend an online support group (for upcoming sessions click here).

No one is required to talk at any meeting. We understand how difficult that can be when our grief is so fresh. We do ask that you listen, however, and we don’t interrupt while another member is sharing their story.

The cost of attending a group is included in our TCFV membership. (If you need to establish a TCFV membership, please call us on 9888 4944 / 1300 064 068.) You can attend as many groups as you like, in any location as part of joining our organisation. New members receive a 12-month complementary membership, after this it is $55 per year (less than $5 a month), which also gives you access to all of our other services.

If it is geographically feasible, please feel most welcome to attend a range of support and/or social groups. We just ask that whenever you attend a new group that you let TCFV Centre know via phone 9888 4944 (Melbourne)/1300 064 068 (regional) or email: support@tcfv.org.au. This way the leaders will be ready to welcome you into the new environment.

Most groups start with an informal time for welcoming people and having a cup of tea or coffee. The formal part of the meeting then begins with the facilitator speaking and perhaps reading a piece of poetry or a short story, after which time we introduce ourselves in turn and share our thoughts and feelings. At this time, you may share as much or as little as you need. General discussion then follows and groups usually end with another cuppa for those members who wish to stay.

Social meetings are typically held at a café. They have a more relaxed structure, with discussion of grief and bereavement interspersed with more general social discussion. Social meetings may resonate more with individuals a few more years down the track in their grief, who feel they’re not needing to explore their grief in detail. Newly bereaved people do also report benefits from social groups, too, particularly if they’re seeking peer support in a less formal setting and structure – and prefer not to explore their grief in detail.

We all grieve differently. Many people don’t feel the need of a support group until years after the death of a loved one. It’s all right to come whenever you are ready, whether it’s soon after your loved one’s death, months later or years later.

If you need a friend to drive you to the group, or you need their reassurance, they are welcome to attend. It is important for us to be able to share freely within our group and be sure confidences will be respected. Your friend would need to accept this confidentiality.

TCFV has no religious affiliation. Meetings are held in a wide variety of locations depending upon what is available in our communities.

While we understand the difficulties of finding child care, we must ask that out of respect for the needs of others, you do not bring children (under 18 years of age) to meetings.  At this time, we do not provide any services for bereaved parents or siblings below 18 years of age, but we can refer you to other agencies where these services are available.

A support group helps reduce the sense of isolation bereaved people commonly feel. It also helps normalise thoughts and feelings that can be distressing or depressing for us. Like therapy, a support group invites us to reflect on experiences.

It is different to therapy, too. The facilitators have the lived experience of bereavement, but are not necessarily mental health professionals. A group is not an in-depth one-on-one session, although a grief-related topic can be explored in-depth collectively.

It can be helpful to be in the presence of someone else’s emotions. Finding you have similar feelings and experiences to others can be an extremely positive experience.

Be mindful that when you’re feeling especially fragile, you might not be in the place to securely experience another person’s sadness, regret, guilt, frustration, and so on. Be aware of how you’re feeling in response to others. It may not be the right rime for you to attend groups regularly. Alternately, you may realise through your response, you are having a difficult day.

Seeing others further down the track who have managed to find meaningful connections again with the world around them can provide hope. Seeing that they’ve achieve this, while still keeping their child, sibling or grandchild’s legacy vibrant in their life, is similarly inspiring. Also, hearing about how people have coped in difficult times can be helpful. (Just keep in mind that strategies that have worked for some people will not necessarily resonate or work for us.)

For new people in the group, or newer in their grief, you may find you look to longer-term bereaved members for evidence things will change. For the majority of us, it definitely does – the intensity and repetitiveness of thoughts and feelings, for instance, diminishes. We can still have bad days, though, and can seek out a group meeting in turn. For newer people, this may inadvertently leave the impression that nothing changes. Thankfully, for the clear majority, it does.

You can, but it is essential to keep in mind: no one size (in coping with grief) fits all. Despite the power of our shared experience of grief, we of course all come with our individual needs and experiences. You can ask people what has helped them and what hasn’t in coping with grief, honouring lost loved ones, and so on. Hearing other people’s outlook and approach to grief can help “fine tune” your own. But remember, no one size fits all. If you are seeking medical, psychotherapeutic or health advice, we stress that you seek the guidance of relevant professionals.

It is important to feel free to speak openly about all aspects of our grief. Sometimes, if this includes graphic descriptions surrounding how our loved one/s died, this can be too much for the group to hear, and might instead be more appropriately addressed in a one-on-one discussion with a group leader or with a psychotherapist, allied health professional, and so on.